Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tired

I did not sleep well last night. So today my emotions are truly up and down. Where honesty is involved its been ups and downs for the last week or so. The closer it comes to Mitchell leaving for his field op...then home for a couple weeks..then deploy the harder its been emotionally on me. It really feels like trying to keep an independent teenager in the nest. You want them to stay but it feels like they can't leave fast enough. Mitchell's in no hurry to deploy by no means but his mind frame is the sooner he leaves the sooner he gets back. For all honesty sake I'm ready for this to be over too. During this process of waiting for the time to come emotions seem to be running high..not just for us but for KalieAnn..she knows something big is coming up. In fact I think she's starting to understand that Daddy's leaving for a little while. We've been talking to her about it since Hero's Summer Christmas but what I think helped it really click for her was watching two shows with me; Army Wives episode where their husband leave on deployment and Sesame Street Deployment Video. She's starting to hang out with her Daddy more. When she watched the Sesame Street one it looked like she was going to cry. She's been acting up herself lately and the more I am sitting at the this computer thinking about it the more I'm realizing what might be the underlying issue...I know a lot of this is pre deployment stress but to be honest again..It sucks! I remember the last time he deployed I was a mess for a few months before I got myself so busy that the time flew by. I didn't have kids then...now I will be doing it with three and I'm extremely happy about that. When he is home they keep me pretty busy and I am depending on them to keep it even more true while he's gone.
Well besides the emotional roller coaster that comes with that stuff I will also be busy with two other things..family...and friends. Our friend that has been living with us till the Marine Corps finally medically discharged him which turned out to be yesterday will be leaving tomorrow and coming back with his daughter in time for school. He and his wife enrolled their daughter in school out here so hat she could start Kinder garden and then Arizona schools would then take her as a transfer due to birthday and cut off dates. The family part? I will be blessed with my Cousin and her hunny coming out for ten days. Hopefully all will be gone by the time Mitchell's gets back from his training op. Think I'm becoming possessive of his time now with us? lol Just wait till he gets back.
Another Positive note he graduated Sergeants Course! And with that positive note I am going to leave it there I am exhausted.